October 14, 2014

About Being Unemployed

October 14, 2014
Hi World!

Here is a fact about myself - I am currently unemployed.  I am doing an unpaid online part-time traineeship, which I really like, but for almost a year now I have been without a stable (paying) job. 

A year ago I had a very good well-paid job. The job was temporary and it was in another country and I had to live away from all my friends and my boyfriend. I decided to quit (anyways I was going to be able to stay there for only 3-4 more months), join my husband and get married in his home country. And here I am happily married but jobless in Serbia.

What I hate about being unemployed…a lot of things!

I hate being at home, doing nothing and wasting my time. Of course I am not just standing in front of the TV the whole day – I am taking two online classes, improving my Serbian and my French, working on my blog and of course looking for a job, which is actually really time-consuming.

I hate that I am stuck at home and I am not able to socialize with people. Because let’s be honest most of your friends in your adult life are also your colleagues. 

The good thing is that me and my husband, we have some money saved up and he has a relatively god job, so finances do not worry me so much

When I think about it, I think that I am doing the best of my time. But I worry. I worry about the gap in my CV, I worry that I will never be able to find a job. Sometimes when I think about it, I realize that the situation is not so bad. I am smart, I have a Master’s degree, I have some work experience, I lived abroad, I am exploring a new field with my unpaid traineeship, I have some money saved up…and most of all I am pretty happy with my personal life. And then, just as I start feeling confident that  it’s not so bad, I open my facebook to chat with a friend and the first question she asks me is if I have found a JOB. I skype my mum and she never forgets to remind me that I should get a JOB! I go to see my husband’s relatives and they are all wondering how such a smart girl doesn't have a JOB……And I start worrying again.

Sometimes I wish that everybody will leave me alone. I apply for jobs every day, I go to interviews, I get rejected and I try to stay strong. I can handle that. But when everybody around me, even though unintentionally, constantly nag about me being unemployed, I feel lost. I crush under the pressure and start thinking that I am in a pit and there is no way out of it.

I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of, I am constantly trying to find my place in the working world, and there has not been a single day that I have not applied for at least one position. I believe that I will find my dream job someday…but do the others believe in me?

How about you World…do you believe in me?